I really have no idea wad the hell i am doing.

I really had weird feeling regarding my rehearsal for the 88th anniversary performance. It is so fake...heh, no offence, seriously. I just feel like an idiot up there and my members agreed. is like other performing arts CCAs actually PERFORMED up there, unlike my group is to fake. Heh, sounds crude but true. I just cannot find a better word to say but all I could say is I feel idiotic and fake. Tell ya wad we guys from calligraphy got to do. We go up there take a bow and go to the tables and "write". The paper is prepared and the word each of us i supposed to write is already written beforehand (by me, i wished i haden). Then when the cue is given, we are suppose to saw the words, take a bow again and get lost. Everything just last only for like five to eight minutes at most. I believe every performance oranything I do, there is always the sense of sactisfaction. But hey, though everything is gonna run smoothly that night, i dun feel great. One of my members actually told me that she rather has stage fright that night and srew up everything rather than going up there and fake. But the teacher in charge says stick to the plan then so be it. the coach of the dance keep arging us to smile but none of us could. WHERE IS THE PRIDE, JOY AND HONOUR WE SUPPOSE TO HAVE? Obiously, each of the thingy we should have is indirectly confiscated from us....none of us feel good abt this man....