Finally had a productive day. Felt happy studying with a friend. Cleared 2 bio papers and one maths paper 2. But I have to admit that bio paper, I 've no clue wad I was doing. A lot of dunnos. Was enjoying myself doing work when my friend said somthing that stopped me in my momentum, leaving me pondering over something. I have clarify that he did not say anything that hurt or insulted me. It just that it tugged onto something that I've shoving to the back of my mind. "Replacement" happened to be one of the words that threw me off course. So happened that he had to study with another but happened that she fell sick so I got to study with him. Sounds wrong to me. I certainly have no idea where I stand in everyone's life. Be it a stone on the roadside or even a wind that makes you feel good at a moment and you will soon forget about it without giving much thought. At least if I know I am such case, I would not be lying to myself that "hey! you HAVE friends." but in fact, the funny thing is I am not aware that I am truely, indeed lying to myself. Sounds messy eh? In a nutshell, I am confused.

"I'm a big big girl,
in this big big world,
it's not a big big thing if you leave me."

I'm sure you have heard this song. Let me change the verses a bit.

"I'm a small small girl,

in this big ugly world,
it's will be a good good thing

if you tell me."

So TELL me if I'm a friend who is just there at your disposal. Nothing is going to change I promise but at least I won't break my heart time and time again due to the fact that I had a glimmer of hope that someone is really there for me, truly there for me and always be there for me for all it matters.

PS:no fault goes to the friend I studied with.
appreciated the time we spent studying together.