Nanyang 30th Carnival, I wasn't doing much

Is carnival right? Must be enjoyable right? Ironically, I wasn't enjoying myself. Nay, not the school's fault, more is my fault. Having to have my phone confiscated unabled me to contact anyone (bad day)so I hardly find anyone I know to accompany to walk around except jue kai and lee min. By the time I saw my classmates, I was very depressed so only mangae to say a meek "HI", steal a gui4 from tammy before I trudged off. Seeing family bringing their kids along, couples walking round the place and friends in group laughing brought my mood down a further notch. I was sick of seeing these things. Holy shit, my family was even messier than before the the divorce. At least we were working together to get out of my dad's nonsense.

I am used to being alone ever since primary school. Aren't I am suppose to enjoy myself being alone? Aren't I used to that? NO! I am being stupid again. I relied to much on others' company. I could feel the familiar bitterness of being lonely before I divorced part of myself away. Somehow I got hurt again after I patched myself up. WHat's the point? I was really feeling sick so I went backstage to rest. Instead I cried myself to sleep. Felt a lot better. Hate to admit it but crying helps.

The minister finally came. The choir members were preparing their entrance from the backstage. Seeing nicholyn makes me fekt even better. I crapped with her and get to know some of her fellow members though I might not be able to recognise them on monday. Paiseh la, Short term memory ma. I was too engrossed with the cake that I forgot my cue. Made one of the teachers quite mad but who cares? As long as the minister got what he was suppose to get, no harm waiting for a short girl for a 2 minutes. Ha, he remarked that he just went to my sec sch on wed for the opening of the sky garden. Man, I totally forgot all abt it.

After this, I went somerset with jue kai and lee min. Longbang Xiang Xiang's taxi (eh, I dunno his name, lee min told me is xiang xiang then so be it since he also amuses himself to call my chinese name which I hate it). we walked from PS to somerset. God knew how I amused the two of them that I only knew tonight we actually walked past the place where the president work. I was saying, "whoa, no wonder la..always got police..mmmm..there are 4 of them, 3 of us. We rampage in wan or not." Lee Min was like the sianz look, " You run in also no use. Nothing inside.." True la but quite amusing wad..3 college students running amok in such important place..

Go John Little buy stuff liao then we go Heeren to see see for my court shoes..geez, I cannot afford those I like and I also afford to play squash barefoot ba. Sianz, I was thinking of accompanying them to Eunos but I realised I had a lot of shit haven't do so went back...Haizzz, lousy day